As many of you know, when I wear jeans, I often flag. I’ve got my red hanky all nicely folded and ready to slide into my left back pocket.

Just in case. Because you never know when or where you might meet someone who knows what it means.

From what I understand, the hanky code used in flagging developed out of gay bar/leather culture back in the day. Whenever that day was.

From what I’ve seen, it seems most prevalent now in gay/queer leather/kink/bdsm culture. Mr. S Leather carries a variety of different coloured hankies, as well as leather hankies, for the discriminating pervert. They also have striped wrist and arm bands that can be used for flagging, but the colour selection tends to lean towards three biggies – red, blue and yellow (fisting, fucking and pissplay).

I see flagging occasionally at sex events I go to, and I know individuals who flag, but on the whole, its not as common as it was (that is, if it was ever as popular as we like to think) . Usually people don’t  notice my hanky (I flag red on my left, for fisting top) and assume its just a fashion thing. Its fun when people know what its for, even if they don’t like getting fisted.

Last summer, I was at XES in Chelsea, having drinks with school friends when this adorable little Chelsea boy bounced over to me and said

“Oh my god, my friends over there say that the hanky in your pocket totally means something! *bounce* Does it?!” (he was quite exhuberent!)

“Well, yeah! A red hanky means I like fisting, and in the left pocket, it means I’m a top.”

“OMG! NO WAY!” *bounce bounce* (like I said, a very exuberant young man!)

“Way! I totally analy fist boys.”

“OMG, NO WAY….really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Oooooh! I have to go tell my friends!”

He ran back across the bar to his waiting friends, and they huddled. I can only assume he told them, because a few minutes later there were a bunch of wide eyed little boys staring at me across the bar. It was so cute. I think I scared them a little.