I have realized that through out my life, none of my thoughts or ideas about living with a partner actually involved sharing a bedroom.

I thought this was weird at first, but really, I just like my space. *My* space. I like having my bedroom set up just so. I like my books organized in my special OCD it makes sense to me order. I like to make my bed every day, and I HATE when people mess up my sheets.

I also like to have a space that is *mine* for me to retreat to. Sometimes, I need to curl up under the covers and hide.

I am also full of OCD. I clean my room lots. I re arrange shit. I dust my books. I know this drives people crazy.

I keep weird hours. I like to putter.

I want to share an apartment with a lover – as long as I get my own room. And my own closet. Definitely my own closet.

This isn’t to say I don’t want to sleep with them in the same bed at all. I love that! I just want to be able to have my own space.

And sometimes, I *do* want to sleep alone. When one of us is sick (I actually sat up one night actually wondering if I could murder Franklin and get away with it. He was sick, and I had to be up in four hours.), or when someone has to wake up super early, or sleep late. The last thing I want if I get to sleep in is someone waking up and making noise when I’m trying to sleep. Sometimes, I just want to sleep alone curled up with my stuffed kitty. (Or Snoopy. I have both.)

For a while, my ex, who was also my roommate (we dated, broke up, found new partners and moved in with each other) were sleeping with each other. It was great. We’d hang out in his room, have some hot sex, cuddle, and then I’d go back to my room. “Thanks for the orgasms! See you at breakfast!”

It was pretty sweet. Not what I want from a live in lover, but having the option of going back to my bed, in my room with my stuff is nice.

I like sharing space with people – I love having flatmates. I love having other people around, to talk to, eat with, play games with, all that good stuff. But when I’m done, I can always go to my room. I figure, there’s nothing wrong with wanting the same thing from a lover.

One of the things I adore about Anon is that he also agrees with me about the separate bedroom idea. People who live together need a place to retreat now and then.  I anticipate us spending 99/100 nights in the same bed. Maybe more. But having space that is *mine* and *his* is very appealing to me.

Practically, it makes a nice place to keep guests, and also serves as offices for each of us – he works from home, and sometimes I need to be on my own to write…when I get around to it, which is harder these days.

In the past, my friends used to think this was so super weird of me. Now, I find a good chunk of my friends agree, or even have set ups in their own home similar to this. It just makes more sense. This idea that two people who live together MUST share the same room is so…weird.

And I don’t actually see it in practice, either. 85% of my dad’s clothing is in his office. My mother actually uses 90% of the closet (which is an entire 12 foot wall), and my dad has two suits hanging up in there, and one pair of dress shoes. At least one of my aunts now sleeps in one of their spare bedrooms because of her husband’s snoring.

I can see and understand the idea of having separate space (my mother’s craft room in the basement and my dad’s office) and coming together to sleep, but why not be up front about it?

It gives me the chance to not foist my OCD off on another person, as well. While I stay at Anon’s place, and an fine with it, there are things that would drive me *nuts* if that were my room too. I still look at it as his space, which I share, not ours. And if it were ours, I might get twitchy. This is nothing on him, of course, but my OCD raring its ugly head.  (Separate book cases might come in to play as well…I actually ‘edge’ my books to the edge of the shelf. And have them in a weird order that only makes sense to me. Though I’m tempted to catalog them on the computer, and use either Dewey or Library of Congress code. IDK which is more efficient yet.)

It also plays into my fantasy of having my consort have his own suite, so I can summon him when I wish. I’d *love* a set of bedrooms connected by a bathroom, but with separate entrances. I could have him draw nummy baths for me, and chain him to the radiator to serve me wine and cheese while I take a bubble bath!

Yeah. Bubble bath. I like that idea.