Last weekend, after several years of hard work, several hours of intensely awesome sex, and with the help of a bath tub, a hitachi and and extension cord, I did it.

I finally squirted!

For the past few years, I’ve had a feeling that if I could only get over myself, I could squirt. I often felt things building up and building up inside me, and then fizzling out. I’m extremely bad at letting go and giving up control when it comes to sex – one of the many reasons bottoming didn’t work out for me. Hell, having an orgasm in front of another person takes work!

But there have been times when I knew I could do it. I just had to relax. I’m really weird about getting messy with bodily fluids, which is odd, considering my past work – I’ve been elbow deep in things you don’t even want to hear about, but I can’t get my self messy sometimes. Lots of time. Stupid OCD. It was only a few months ago that I managed to pee on Anon, and I think that was a big factor in my recent squirting.

Over Memorial day weekend, Anon and I were cat sitting for a friend, and on Monday, we were having a particularly fun and sexy romp. Anon had pounced on me after I used a hypno trigger on him that induced horniness (which, so far, is my favourite hypno trigger ever!) There was much sexy times to be had – there was a hood involved, and lots of oral sex – gotta say, that hood with the mouth hole may have been the best thing I ever bought – some quality hitachi-on-Wendy time, and some great g-spot stimulation thrown in for good measure. There was a liberator ramp, a leash, and some hot hot doggy style fucking.

Basically, what I’m getting at is that we were having one hell of a romp. I needed breaks, it was that sort of romp.

Now the squirting.

We were in the missionary position, and Anon was doing that very focused, single minded, fucking me through the mattress thing that he does. (I love that thing. Its fucking awesome.) I felt that sort of building up kind of have to pee thing starting to happen down around my cunt, and I was trying to focus and let go, but all I could think about was how I couldn’t squirt on my friend’s bed because there was no towel down, and there was no amount of sheet changing that would make that cool or easy to clean up.

Finally, I figured that maybe if I were in the tub, it would be easier for me to relax, since I wouldn’t make a mess. That was how I learned to pee on Anon – first, I practiced peeing in the tub on my own, and then I peed on him. Now, I can pee on him at the drop of a hat, if I have to go.

And lo and behold, it worked! By the time I got to the tub, I had been worked over so thoroughly that I could *not* squirt. It only took about 1o minutes of relaxing with the hitachi before I was able to relax, and let go.

What was interesting to me was how different it was from pissing – I had often heard that squirting felt similar to peeing, but in my case, it only felt like I needed to urinate. When it squirted out, it didn’t feel anything like peeing.

It was also a bit underwhelming as well – I didn’t have an orgasm that was particularly different or stronger than other ones. Perhaps it was because I had already had so many that day.

And yes, I’m dead sure it was ejaculate – for one, I had peed earlier, and it was practically clear, as I am often a little over-hydrated.  The substance that came out was substantially darker, a bit more amber looking than my pee looks, even in the morning.

I also had Anon get down in the tub and sniff it – this is a man who is quite familiar with the scent of both my piss, and my cunt. According to him, it was not pee. (In hind site, I ought to have had him lap some of it up as well. Ah well, next time. Yes. Next time!)

I’m interested in exploring this again, but in a way, I find myself much more relaxed as well. Since I have accomplished this thing I have always wanted to do, I now know what its like. I feel like I can do it again if I want, and I feel relaxed having finally *done* it. It a way, it was kind of like when I lost my virginity. Important, something I wanted to do, but a little underwhelming until I did it a whole bunch more!