I. Love. Anal. Sex.

Really. I adore it more than I ever thought I would.

When I was a little Wendy, back in middle school, just learning about sex, I was variously intrigued and disgusted by it. I wasn’t even quite sure what was involved. I remember going to bed early, so I could listen to LoveLine on z100, and people would call in with their sex questions. Sometimes, people would ask about it, but they never really explained to my 13 year old self what it was.

I hated not knowing things. I had to figure this out.

These were the days before we had the Internet, so my research had to be done the old fashioned way. Books.

First, I consulted the cache of dirty book I had found in the basement. Apparently, at some point in the past, my mother tried to read books, or perhaps they had been gag gifts from her bachelorette party. The spines were unbroken when I found them, stuffed at the back of the few books in the curio cabinet in the basement.

Alas, there was no help there. So, it was off to the public library, where I spent many a day scouring the shelves for dirty material. (I never found anything useful in the romance section, however. Back in the day, the prose was much more purple and flowery than it is now. 90% of the writers didn’t even include, you know, foreplay. Oral sex. I’m pretty sure they figured out, back in medieval times, that a dick in a mouth felt pretty damn good. I’ve seen woodcarvings.)

There, I had better luck. There were ‘technical’ books, to explain sex to kids, which really helped me a lot. There was a book called ‘Sex in Literature’ which I think was a study on the use of sex in writing through the ages, but who are we kidding, I didn’t actually read it. I scanned for dirty bits, and lord, were they ever present! I learned quite a few interesting limericks. ‘There once was a man from Kildare/who was having a girl in a chair/on the sixty third stroke/the furniture broke/ and his rifle went off in the air’

Then, there was the Joy of Sex. 1970’s edition, full of hairy poon, hairy pits, and masturbatory delights for this curious girl. They explained anal sex to me, among other things. (Thanks guys!)

I still considered it more of an out hole than anything, but these were the days before Tristian Taromino had entered my life. I hadn’t even quite gotten the hang of how to masturbate and the idea of orgasms, let alone entertained the thought of anal eroticism.

But a year or two later, while digging through a stack of books at a garage sale, I found Nancy Friday’s second collection of women’s fantasies, “Forbidden Flowers”. Thank you, God of Yardsales!

The lovely women who shared their fantasies with Ms. Friday and the world, taught me much. I no longer have my copy of that book (I dropped it into the tub one to many times) but I now own some of her other works.

I learned how to masturbate in the tub, sliding right up against the edge, legs in the air, letting the water run onto my clit. For the next two years, my mother would go nuts whenever I’d go to take a bath - she had no idea what was going on in there or what took so long, but she didn’t like it.

But still, I stayed away from the butt. The thought stayed in the back of my mind, but didn’t go anywhere.

Until, Jordin. My high school boyfriend, who was all about my ass. Now, Jordin and I didn’t have sex while we dated, but boy did I try. The only thing Jordin wanted to do, or that he voiced a wish to do, was fuck my ass.

Thankfully, even at the tender age of 16, I knew better than the let that happen. “Bitch, you haven’t even fucked me in the poonani yet, and you want to put that thing in my ass? You didn’t even know what lube was until I bought you some!”

But again, it came back to the front of my mind.

Around the same time, I was becoming veeerrrry interested in gay porn, and hanging out with Millicent and Princess Donna. Watching gay porn. And stuff.

For me, gay porn was a huge eyeopener! These guys were getting their asses fucked, and they really seemed to be enjoying it. If *they* liked it, why wouldn’t *I* like it? I mean, yeah, I don’t have a prostate and all that, but so what? I knew women did it, and liked it too.

It was then, that male anal sex entered my porno collection, though only in the contexts of men fucking other men. I read tons of Slash Fanfiction, which was excellent for feeding my need. As a writer, I studied websites on anatomy and ‘how to’s‘ to learn how to write gay sex better.

Pegging hadn’t quite entered my mind yet, though at the time, I was very interested in buying a dick of ‘my own’, and possibly packing, like Millicent did sometimes.

Though at this time, a big part of my sexuality came into play. I didn’t want to be a Drag King, like Millicent sometimes did, and her girlfriend would do (She was in a Drag King cover band of the NKOTB. How awesome is that?!)

I wanted to be a Drag Queen. Even back then, I identified more as a gay man than as a bisexual woman. I read everything I could get my hands on about gay male culture and history. I studied the hankie code. I bemoaned my lack of a penis to anyone who’d listen. I was the only girl I knew, aside from Millicent, who knew what poppers were.

I read about anal fisting. Let me tell you, when I first read about anal fisting, my eyes must have looked like saucers! “Crisco? Slings? Poppers? TRANSVERSE COLON? Holy shit….I wonder where I could get a video of this.”

Thank you, Internet Porn! Let me tell you, I was entranced by the fisting video’s I downloaded, both of men being anal fisted by…whoever, and women being vaginally fisted, usually by another woman.

I discovered Chloe, my favourite pornstar. She *loves* the anal. She has the most intense anal orgasms I’ve ever seen before, or since. And female anal sex entered my fantasies and porn collection, though still not my own sex life.

Then, one day, while masturbating, I put the tip of my finger in my ass.

Oh. My. God.

“This is awesome!”

I swear to god, there were rockets and fireworks and a choir of angels in ass less chaps.

From then on out, buttplay became more of a part of my masturbatory life. Just finger tips and the occasional external vibrations, but it was there.

Oh, I should mention, I was a virgin all this time. :)

Now, while I was discovering my early love of anal sex, I was also developing my obsession with men’s assess as well. I bought myself a copy of “The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women”, which helped. I pondered buying toys. I wondered if I would ever meet a boy who’d let me put things in his ass.

Well, we know how that turned out, don’t we? Heh.

Now, I’m off to play with my two new butt plugs. I’ll be expanding my Ode To Anal in a few more posts. ^_^