Archive for March, 2008

Fuck Her Gently

Sunday, March 30th, 2008

Oh, Tenacious D, you know much of love.

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It’s Not You, It’s Your Books

Sunday, March 30th, 2008

Now, I have no right to be a book snob, not really.  I love Harry Potter, and I have a stash of bad romance novels. Sometimes, I read pop-lit.  I really like Bridget Jones’ Diary (Though its telling that I typed and had to change it back from “Bitchy Jones’ Diary“). I despise Dickens. (Yeah, I said it. I. Hate. Charles. Dickens.)

On the other hand, I do like lots of books that give me some credibility.  I loved Paradise Lost, and Dante’s Inferno. I adored Frankenstein.  I’m still sort of obsessed with Lord of the Flies.

But I’ll be the first to admit that there are certain books that will totally cause me to lose interest in a person.

For example, if, on your O.K.Cupid Profile you list your favourite authors as “Dan Brown and James Patterson” AND THATS IT, I’m probably going to reject you out of hand.  I can accept that nearly every one in America has read the Da Vinci Code, ok? But go read something else too.  I mean, I like Jodi Picoult, right? But I read things other than her books. (Side note – ‘My Sister’s Keeper’? Fantastic. Go read it. I cried like a girl.)

Its not even really the lack of ‘quality’ reading material, since most of that is really subjective. Its more about knowing the other person reads, and reads more than one thing.  Just reading Stephen King? Not so interesting.  Reading Stephen King, and a wide variety of other authors? Much more interesting.

Conversely, some books automatically get you points with me.  If you’ve read all of Terry Pratchett’s “Discworld” books, we are so going to get along.  Also, ‘Day of the Triffids‘ and anything by Wyndham get you points too.  The part of the date where I knew I was totally going to go out with Gabriel again was when we started discussing Day of the Triffids.

Very sexy is the man who can introduce me to something new. Daniel got me started on Discworld. He also got me into a graphic novel serial, Fables.  In return, I taught him about fairy tales he didn’t know the story behind. (This ties into Fables, which is a series about fairy tale characters living in New York. Trust me, its not nearly at pathetic as it sounds on first blush. Its by Vertigo! They have nudity!)

You get a bit of wiggle room when this sort of info comes out during a date.  But OKC and other dating sites that ask about your fav. books kill it. I check. Really.  Lots of people do. And the least sexy thing to write in that section?

“I don’t read.” Ick Ick Ick.  If you say that during a date, my panties ain’t coming down, and there is VERY little you can do to change that.

Why all this? To lead into a NYT book section Essay about books and love.

It’s Not You, It’s Your Books

Published: March 30, 2008

Some years ago, I was awakened early one morning by a phone call from a friend. She had just broken up with a boyfriend she still loved and was desperate to justify her decision. “Can you believe it!” she shouted into the phone. “He hadn’t even heard of Pushkin!”

We’ve all been there. Or some of us have. Anyone who cares about books has at some point confronted the Pushkin problem: when a missed — or misguided — literary reference makes it chillingly clear that a romance is going nowhere fast. At least since Dante’s Paolo and Francesca fell in love over tales of Lancelot, literary taste has been a good shorthand for gauging compatibility. These days, thanks to social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, listing your favorite books and authors is a crucial, if risky, part of self-branding. When it comes to online dating, even casual references can turn into deal breakers. Sussing out a date’s taste in books is “actually a pretty good way — as a sort of first pass — of getting a sense of someone,” said Anna Fels, a Manhattan psychiatrist and the author of “Necessary Dreams: Ambition in Women’s Changing Lives.” “It’s a bit of a Rorschach test.” To Fels (who happens to be married to the literary publisher and writer James Atlas), reading habits can be a rough indicator of other qualities. “It tells something about … their level of intellectual curiosity, what their style is,” Fels said. “It speaks to class, educational level.”

Pity the would-be Romeo who earnestly confesses middlebrow tastes: sometimes, it’s the Howard Roark problem as much as the Pushkin one. “I did have to break up with one guy because he was very keen on Ayn Rand,” said Laura Miller, a book critic for Salon. “He was sweet and incredibly decent despite all the grandiosely heartless ‘philosophy’ he espoused, but it wasn’t even the ideology that did it. I just thought Rand was a hilariously bad writer, and past a certain point I couldn’t hide my amusement.” (Members of theatlasphere.com, a dating and fan site for devotees of “Atlas Shrugged” and “The Fountainhead,” might disagree.)

(Continued at NYT Website)

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Birfday!

Saturday, March 29th, 2008

Happy Birthday Tilda!

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Sugasm #124

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #125? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
In Which Penny Enjoys Her Bath
“In the bathroom, I flipped on the heater and shed my clothes.”

Just passing through
“I twitched under her stare.”

Kegal exercises on wet Monday afternoon
“Do you know what it’s like, to be buggered?”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
WP/PHP Guru?

Editor’s Choice
More Traveling…

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
The Face – The Fall Of Eliot Spitzer
Let me clarify something…
On being a slut.
Regulating Prostitution and its various business models
Would You Pose Without Clothes?

Sex Humor
Lusty Leprechauns

BDSM & Fetish
Black Panties (a story)
Earning myself a spanking
A fun weekned
Goodness Gracious
HNT – Hidden Nipple Thursday
Riding the Wave
The Spiritual Significance of Spanking
Submissive?

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Blog Anniversary Contest Winners
Call for submissions: Theory and Practice
Dana DeArmond Stripped Of Her Name During Slave Training With Julie Night
Euphoric Tendencies – a review
Gianna Lynn Endures Water And Suffocation Bondage Underwater On Waterbondage.com
Get a Personal Shopper for Your Genitals
My First Review on Adult DVD Talk!
Pushers
San Francisco Fetish Ball 2008 Photos and Review

Erotic Writing and Experiences
A black shemale sucked my cock in Amsterdam
Captivating the college girl part one
Clandestine
Close Your Eyes
In His Pants
Leopard print: you just can’t beat it
Northern lights and sleepless nights
Wet Vagoo
You’re my pornstar (part 3)

Sex Advice
How Women Can Learn to Have an Orgasm with Intercourse

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Dahlia Grey by Andrew Blake
Exotic Jewel
Half-Nekkid in the Shower
Her Intentions Fall to the Floor
How do you like my cock?
Pornsaint Kimberly Kane
Spring Garden

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Ode to Anal: Daniel and Franklin

Monday, March 24th, 2008

Ah, remember the ‘Ode to Anal: The Formative Years‘? I’ve been meaning to write more of that series for ages. Well, I’m bringing it back.

Have you ever noticed that you project your fantasies on people? When I was younger and wanted a boyfriend, I used to fantasize about going on a date with Elijah Wood and having hotsex, or I’d look at a strange man and just think he was hot.

Now, I fantasize about my hand in Elijah Wood’s ass, and when I look at men all I think is “Huh. He looks like he’d let me fuck him in the ass.”

This is really the story of how I got to that point.

Jordin, my first boyfriend, back in the day was obsessed with my ass. Go figure. He wouldn’t fuck me ‘proper’, but he asked on a regular basis if he could fuck my ass.

But even at the tender age of sixteen, I was informed enough to know that he didn’t know what he was doing, and that I would so wind up getting hurt. Also, at the time, I thought anal was gross. Silly me. As you read in my previous OtA post, I eventually changed my mind, and became more and more interested in it.

However, anal sex didn’t come up in a relationship until much later, when I was dating Daniel. By this time, I was not just interested, but fascinated with ass. It had become a fantasy for me, to play with men’s asses. (Now, however, it is an obsession.) Daniel, ah, Daniel let me play with his bum. It was both the first time I was ever, in anyway, inside a man, and the first time anyone had been inside him, aside from himself. It was just a finger, maybe two, but was all I needed to get the ball rolling.

It was, for me, sweet, intense…I felt like I was given a gift, to be allowed to be the first. It was one of the best times of our short relationship. And it was the physical beginning of my bum fun passion.

However, it wasn’t until Franklin that I experienced it for myself. Franklin was the first of the few men who have fucked my ass. See, while I adore my anal, it isn’t something I do with everyone. I can, and will, name every man who has ever been in my ass. Not so for penis in vagina sex. (That list includes names like ‘The keyboard guy in that electronica band from myspace’)

Franklin was fun. We had much love and trust between us (still do) that we were able to do this. Yet, for some reason, the majority of our anal experiences took place giggling and drunk at the end of a late night. Srsly, not a good idea. Invariably, we’d be too drunk to remember lube, and I would cry, he’d stop, and then I’d still want to have more sex.

With Franklin, it was particularly intense, because I truly believed that I would be with no one else, and that this would be something I would share only with him. It was, I imagined, a perversion of how a virgin bride must feel. “Here. I am giving you this – no one has touched me here before. I am yours.” (I was much younger and more naive at the time. Give me a break)

I think this is why I enjoy being given someones cherry. I feel honoured when I’m able to share a new first experience with someone.

Franklin and I had another first – he was the first boy with whom I strapped it on. Oh yes. I went out and bought Babeland’s ‘Bend over Beginner’ kit, which, by the way, sucks balls. The only good thing about it is that its purple. The dildos it came with are very small and thin, which I guess *is* good for a beginner, but man, I felt insufficient wearing them.

The harness that comes in the kit is terrible. It doesn’t stay in place well, and I find it uncomfortable. The straps are always getting loose while I’m using it. It did come with a small bullet vibe, but its just strong enough to be irritating through velvet, and anyway, I’m a bit bigger than most girls, so I tend to wear it a bit higher up so I have better control over it, so I don’t feel it. I actually took that part off, so now its nylon straps around an O ring. It works well enough, but god do I need a better one. I’m an anal artist, and how can I work my craft with such substandard equipment?

Thank god Miss Jo taught me how to make a harness from rope!

But then again, at this point, I’m not really a beginner anyway.

So yes, I got the kit to use on Franklin, and a dream was born. To fuck men’s asses. That’s it. I don’t want much out of life.

We had some good times with that kit. Ah, I remember one time,I wore the harness under my clothes to a brunch my job was having. When I left, I called Franklin and told him to be waiting naked with the door unlocked…and he totally did! We only did it a few times but it fed the need, and damn did I hit the ground running.

I’ll stop with the bad metaphors now.

Coming Soon: Ode to Anal – Sebastian, and what anal means to me

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