« This Corrosion | Home | Damien »

So you make a duck bill…

By Wendy | December 31, 2007

I love messing with my friends. My Elizabeth has a friend, Elise.  She’s a vegetarian. She hates ketchup with a passion. And she’s a little shy and uncomfortable with my bombastic sex talk.

We went to a Chinese Buffet on Long Island.  Elizabeth said her girlfriend reads my blog, and I was surprised, because while I know Cookie generally reads my blog, I didn’t think she was a ‘reader’ the way some people are. See, Cookie is a lesbian, and she’s the kind of dyke who has dickphobia. She really really doesn’t like dick. Not thinking about ‘em, or seeing ‘em, or hearing about ‘em or anything.  She makes an awesome face when it comes up.

But she describes it like a rubbernecking situation. You want to watch, but you don’t, but you do. Apparently, thats why Elise reads too.

Since this is me we’re talking about, fisting came up, along with an explanation for Elise, along with hand gestures.
“See, first, you start with one or two fingers. Then you make a triangle”

“Gyah! I don’t want to know!” she hid her face.

“No, see, you make a triangle, and then you start making a ducks bill” I demonstrated with my own hand “See? Its like a ducks bill.”

“Or the pickle claw!” Elizabeth jumped in.

“Pickle claw? Whats that?” Elise and I were both curious.

“Its an Ellen joke! You know, the way you have to make your hand when your digging in the jar of pickles for one at the bottom. The opposite is the toilet paper claw, that you use to dig toilet paper out of the container in the public bathrooms.”

“Oooh, yeah, that’s good too! Ok, so you make a duck bill, right? Then you start to curl your hand like this”

At this point, Elise jumped up and ran to the other side of the partition separating the dining area from where the food is.

The rest of the evening, I couldn’t help but make the ducks bill, and demonstrate for Elise.

The other thing we discovered is the problem with those massive candy cane sticks my mother gave each of my sisters and I. There is no way to eat them with out it being horribly, phallicly suggestive. Anything you do with a normal candy cane or peppermint stick is utterly obscene when done to a massive candy stick.

Topics: blog, broads, fisting, homies, life |

One Response to “So you make a duck bill…”

    Trackbacks

    1. Bookmarks Tagged Suggestive

    Comments