Don’t give awkward blow jobs on your birthday. They are awkward, and throw things off.
That’s advice you can take to the bank.
Winter Fire weekend was super exciting for me – it was my first hotel event AND it was my birthday weekend. But my birthday day was kind of awkward.
First, I had an issue with food getting stuck in my band – it was NOT fun. Two and a half dumplings, and I was in super intense pain, heaving over a garbage can in the main lobby of the event. Not sexy at all. So after I had relaxed and wandered around, I went back up to my room to relax for a few hours. I dozed a bit, and tried to eat a few hours after the incident – it wasn’t good. Two crackers and cheese wouldn’t stay down, so I curled up and slept a bit more.
Then I went back down to the event. I had lots of plans, and honestly, I played harder than I should have. I *should* have chilled out, done one thing, and taken the rest of the night easy. Instead, I ran around like a nut, trying to do everything. Hooks with Calico (which was fun, and I’d love to do again when I’m in a better frame of mind), attempting my first rope suspension with Miss Jo and Zelda, a set of birthday spanks from Lolita and Nayland…so I was a little out of it when I found myself hanging out with some of my friends, and this goth kid. Between the play and the lack of food (I think at that point, I had consumed and kept down maybe 500 calories that day) I wasn’t really in the best place.
Goth kid was cute, and skinny – my type. And I somehow wound up giving him head, and was reminded of why I stopped fucking goth boys. They talk to much, mostly. (Also, why is is that uncircumsized boys like to talk about it so much?) And I felt supremely uncomfortable with the situation. When I give a blow job, I like to feel like a valued part of the experience, and I did not. I felt uncomfortably objectified, confused, and not really wanting to be there. I should have just called things off and gone to bed, but I often have trouble doing that when I wind up in situations I find awkward. I really need to work on that.
I still don’t understand why I don’t leave in this sort of situation. Its stupid, and makes me feel uncomfortable. In most other situations, I’m good at doing what I want and need. I chalk it up to a throw back to my not so great sexual history – there was a lot of sex in my past for the wrong reasons, with the wrong people. And I *was* a bit out of my head that night.
But, the whole thing threw me off, and made my vibe all weird. Kinda made me feel wonky the next day, along with the con-drop and the usual insanity in my brain.
Ah well. I just wanted to get this particular tale off my chest first, throw it off so I can get to the good stuff without the negative clouding it. Soon to come, more good Winter Fire stories, and of course, some Sebastian. Yum!
